What Does it Take to Successfully Travel, Live, or Work Abroad?

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not always a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.
Mark Twain, Innocents Abroad

Getting Used to a New Environment

After reading many books on culture shock the best description I?ve seen of the process comes from a somewhat unexpected source: the foreword to a book called Head for Mexico: A Renegade Guide by Don Adams. Teresa Kendrick (http://www.chapalaguide.com) the author of Mexico?s Lake Chapala and Ajijic: The Insiders Guide to the Northshore for International Travelers describes the process of cultural adaptation in Mexico (I think these words could apply to anyone) in the following beautifully crafted paragraphs:

Traveling to Mexico is like having a fling, a stunning romance, a love affair so intense that everything seems washed in a radiant and benevolent mist. Senses are heightened, feelings revived, and travelers find themselves newly innocent and unfettered by the constraints of their own society. We find ourselves so profoundly moved that, depending upon our temperament, we live on oxygen alone or gorge ourselves at an endless table of sensual feasts. Our deepest longings find a voice to express the stirrings of our hearts, the range of our feelings, and the sleeping voices of our souls. Magic is rediscovered. Moving to Mexico, however, is not unlike getting married. Perhaps we?ll marry Mexico for romance, for adventure, or to elevate our spiritual or economic status, but once the honeymoon is over we begin to notice that the language and customs of our beloved are strikingly dissimilar to our own. The informal intricacies of our native interactions clash with the formality of Mexican decorum (Paul?s note: most of the world is more formal, like Mexico, than the US). When once all we saw were bougainvillea-covered walls and cobblestone streets, we now see different attitudes toward ecology, animals, consumerism, democracy, and in much of the country, huge differences in technology, education, and prosperity.

For all the genuine beauty Mexico offers, there are considerable differences between the societies of ?northern? North America and Mexico. And so the real work of compromise begins, as it does in all marriages, and it must be noted that divorce is an honorable option. ?Those who enter into their nuptials with Mexico armed only with childish dreams can expect frustrations and possible irreparable disappointments. Those who bring mature, accepting, and flexible talents to the task will assimilate well and flourish. Once we move past the romantic vision, the sentimental outlook, our conceit as experts, and our insistences that Mexico be ?our way?, we can move on to really living within the reality of the country. It is from there that we can choose to love it

Culture Shock

Almost everyone who moves abroad at times will question their decision at times. They will begin to feel homesick and alone. Experts often call this feeling ?culture shock?. Experts in culture shock typically report that most people who live or travel abroad will experience four stages in adapting to their new country. During the first stage, they are in love with their new country, they enjoy the new sights and sounds, and even sometimes begin to dislike their homeland. In the second stage, they begin to understand that their new country has flaws and they get tired of trying to adjust to a new way of life. In the third stage, they often yearn for home and regret their decision to move their in the first place. In the last stage, they begin to accept both the trails and joys of living abroad and adjust. People go through these four stages at different times. Often expatriates report that it takes a whole year to go through all these stages. This was my experience. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is not anticipating culture shock. You may decide to come home too early (When I was 19 and studied at the American University of Cairo, I made this error. I was scheduled to study there for a year, but, while I was in the throws of culture shock, bailed at the end of the first semester. I?ve always regretted this decision!) or you may remain in the second or third stage for much longer than necessary just because you do not seek out support to get out of our funk.

If you anticipate culture shock, you can work through it. When I was a volunteer, English as a Second Language teacher in Kaliningrad, Russia, I got over ?culture shock? by:

• Seeking out familiar sights and sounds from home. If you, like me, find yourself in a place that has very few people and places that are like home, take short vacations to places that are more Western. I frequently took short jaunts into Warsaw, Poland (which was 200 miles away) and, while generally I prefer ?local? eats, allowed myself to eat at places like McDonalds and Pizza Hut that felt like home. I also ate ethnic foods (Thai, Mexican, and Korean) that reminded me of my life in multicultural cities in the USA.
• Asking other expatriates for help. Since I was part of an established volunteer group, I talked about my sadness with our director. She gave some of the best advice I?ve ever heard about culture shock: ?Just go out and try to have fun. Don?t stay at home. Try to get invited to parties. Go to bars or discos. Take a class in something fun?. I followed her advice and let my hair down. It worked wonders! 
• Realizing that it would pass. I kept reminding myself that when I was in Egypt, I didn?t give culture shock enough time to pass and left the country and always regretted my decision. This kept me going.
• Accepting that Russians were different from Americans. Oddly, my first impression of Russia was that the place was more like the USA than I ever expected. However over time as I got to know the language, customs, and people, I felt more and more like I?d moved to the other side of the Earth. After a couple months, I began to dislike Russians. They seemed overly concerned with preserving their sense of face, competitive, collectivistic, and brusque than my countrymen. As time went on, I began to look for things I could admire about Russians. It wasn?t that hard once I tried. Russians are generous, smart, talented, and beautiful people. I also began to realize that since Russia was a huge country with many differences between people, I should stop expecting everyone to act the same way. Once I found things to admire and starting treating everyone as individuals, I really began to like the country. Eventually I married a Russian and while it did work out in some ways, I will always be grateful for the time I spent with her and her family in Russia.

Deciding to Make the Move

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in deciding to live, retire, or volunteer is haste. It is a big decision. Too many people decide to move just after they?ve spent a couple days basking in the beauty of a destination.

Judy King, publisher of the Mexico Insights says,

?Many people come here and buy a property after a few days. Realtors always try to rush people into purchasing homes. Yet, I recommend that people rent for six months or so, before they buy. You need some time to get acclimated and to decide if this is really the right place for you.?

You wouldn?t be able to tell if the place is right for you without spending some time there. Sometimes differences that seem easily surmountable become big obstacles in the passage of time. Just like married couples find little picayune things annoying about their spouse after all, people who move to another country often get unduly upset over small things that, like their spouse, they can?t change.

If you have identified a place you?d like to live, make a visit there for at least a couple weeks to scope out the place, return home, and then return again to spend a couple months there as a resident before you make a serious commitment (such as buying a house or moving your belongings) if at all possible. You can?t tell what issues will cause you angst until you?ve spent some time in your place and have been able to really investigate your new home objectively.

Try to talk to a lot of people including both expatriate and locals during this stage. This will give you a lot of useful information and different perspectives. Here are some of the questions that expatriates recommend that you think about before making a serious commitment to your new home: 

• How far is your new town from an international airport? How easy is to fly to visit your family and friends in the USA? 
• Will you be able to live away from your friends and family? 
• Can you engage in the same cultural, social, political, and recreational activities that you like at home? If not, are there activities in your community that will hold your interest? 
• Do you speak the language? If you don?t, are there many people there that speak English? Are you willing to learn another language? 
• How can you get things fixed at your destination? How easy will it be to access utilities? What do you need to do if you have problems with your utilities at your destination? How do you need to pay bills (many places in the world you need to pay bills in cash at the place where the business is located. This can mean standing in very long lines) 
• Will you have access to good quality medical services? If not, can you get access at home? (Note: don?t assume that the services will be bad. Many doctors, throughout the world, are trained in Western (or Western style) schools and expatriates often report that they enjoy the higher level of personal attention that they get from medical facilities abroad) 
• How much bureaucracy will be involved in setting up your new life at your destination? Will you be able to establish permanent residency eventually? How difficult will it be to do banking in your community? 
• Do you want to live among other expatriates, near an expatriate community, or would you rather live more like local residents? 
• Will you enjoy learning about your destination? Are you interested in its culture, history, folklore, etc.? 
• Do you make friends easily (Don?t assume that if you are shy, that the move will be bad for you. Many people find that they have an easy time making friends overseas because they automatically have something in common with the other expatriate that they meet)? 
• Do you feel comfortable with the economic and age backgrounds of the majority of people in your new community? (note: many expatriate communities have a lot of retirees. This can make it difficult for younger people to make friends, particularly of the opposite sex in their new town.) 
• How close are familiar shopping facilities? How willing are you to shop at local stores? 
• What are the local attitudes towards time? Will you be able to adapt to the pace of life at your destination? 
• Is there are a lot of opportunities for a social life in your destination? Will you be able to find people who share your idea of a good time? Are there any legal or moral obstacles that will keep you from enjoying yourself?

If you are just visiting your new home and intend to return home, you should also do some research to help your move including: 

• Finding out how easy it is to buy favorite products at home. Only pack or move products that are hard to find. 
• If you have kids, visiting schools and deciding where you might want to enroll your kids (unless you intend to live there for a long time, most expert recommend that you put your kids in an International School System, ISS, school so that their credits will be easily transferable and that they will be educated with other expatriates, many of which, by the way, will not be Americans). 
• Try to stay in a local person?s home or arrange a home exchange, hospitality exchange, homestay, volunteer program, or learning vacation. This will allow you to get a more authentic feel for living in your community and will help you to have some acquaintances if you decide to move their later. 
• Taking any orientation classes for expatriates if available. Several newsletters (such as Judy King?s Mexico Insights) have short classes available at a minimal fee taught by seasoned expatriates.

Notes:

• Do you agree or disagree with any of these tips? Do you know any great tips that should be added? If so, send your comments to me (Paul Heller, founder of the Big Blue Marble) and I'll post them on my blog.
• Check out my extensive library of book reviews and links about long term traveling, working, studying, retiring, volunteering, and living abroad.